Corrupt a Wish (forum game)

Granted, but its graphics are too advanced for your machine.

I wish I had a sandvich.

You get a dirtvich instead.

I wish for a stylish wall clock.

Granted, but it's a painted clock and it utterly worthless.

I wish I could go to a Brian Regan live show. (Seriously, that dude is funny.)

Granted, people keep throwing their shoes at them until he leaves in anger.

I wish for the power to freeze and unfreeze time

Granted. When you freeze time, you get frozen with it.

I wish for a dollar.

Granted, but you get it in one hundred one-cent coins.

I wish for a red car.

Granted, policemen are now 55% more likely to notice you speeding.

I wish for a new computer.

Granted. Your new computer gets a virus and explodes.

I wish I got a decent haircut.

Granted, everyone is so amazed by your new haircut that you grow sick of attention and resolve to live the rest of your life as a hermit.

I wish Google had at least a little understanding of what a Privacy Policy REALLY is...

Granted. They get your Email and crown you, but you make a bad decision as king as what to do and everyone hates you, and they kill you
I wish I Could persuade anyone!

Granted. Everyone goes along with all your decisions, even the bad ones.

I wish I had a dollar.

Granted, but you get it in one hundred one-cent coins, again.

I wish for some new reading material.

Granted. It is written on used toilet paper.

I wish I had more free time.

Granted. Although you waste it playing this game.

I wish I could draw.

Granted, but you're in a duel with a cowboy and you don't draw your gun fast enough, so he shoots you first.

I wish I didn't have to do this dang english assignment.

Kitty wrote:

You're in a duel with a cowboy and you don't draw your gun fast enough.

That is easily the best thing I have ever seen you post.

But back on topic. Just wait a few weeks and you won't have to do the assignment at all.

I wish I could draw pictures with skill.

You draw so good, the pictures come to life and kills you.

I wish I could control space.

Sure, but you mess up the balance of the universe, being the clumsy fool you are ( ) and everyone on earth burns to death.

I wish I knew what I should be when I grow up.

Daytime hooker.

I wish for a chocolate milk.

Granted, that brown stuff isn't chocolate.....

I wish I could lucid dream.