Jokes

What about that airline food?

without music, life would b-flat Get it?

here's another childhood joke:

A kids in class and he asks the teacher if he can go to the bathroom, but she says he has to recite the alphabet first. So the kid says: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOQRSTUVWXYZ"
The teacher says, "Good, but where's the P?"
"It's running down my leg!"

Gelatino95 wrote:

byball9 wrote:

Answer: I give up

That reminds me of another joke:

Why are the trees in Paris planted so close together?

Because the British like to march in the shade.

Sorry, what?
I am British.
Also, another classroom one:
There were three boys in the classroom, Pete(known as P) Zack(known as Zip) and William(known as Willy)
Zip was on the table and P was just being bad and Willy was in the wrong classroom.
The teacher came in and shouted "Zip down! Willy out! P in the corner!"
(Is that too rude? Can be edited.)

kobbleykobkob wrote:

Sorry, what?
I am British.

Sorry if I offended you, it was just a history joke.

Two slices of bread are in a toaster, one of them is a bully, the other one, is wimpy and easily scared.
The wimpy one says "Look, I have a confession to make. I always liked bagel better than you."
The bully says back to him "When we get out of here, you are toast"

Pretty lame joke, here's another.

Q: Two girls are walking down the street, they both look exactly the same, they were born on the same day(few minutes after each other), and they both have the same parents. They are not twins, so what are they?

A: They are triplets, the third one was at home with the flu!

Did you hear the joke about the black hole? It really sucked.....*Drums in back round*

Why did the chicken cross the road?

byball9 wrote:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was the duck's day off.

Nah, because Chuck Norris was on his side
:Laff:

That's true

Two atoms were walking down the street one day.

One atom says, "Oh dear, I think I may have dropped an electron!"

The other one says, "Are you sure?"

The first one says, "Yes, I'm positive!"

pffff That's acually not bad, Gelo.

Here's one:

Two Blondes parked their car at a shopping depo and left to go buy things.when they come back, they realise they locked their keys in the car.
After considering what they should do, one of them decides to call their insurance dealer for assistance. The other one then says "Hurry up then, It's about to rain and the roof is down!"

ba dum CHH

Uh...

Gelatino95 wrote:

Two atoms were walking down the street one day.

One atom says, "Oh dear, I think I may have dropped an electron!"

The other one says, "Are you sure?"

The first one says, "Yes, I'm positive!"

! I love your joke!

At the old folks home....

"I used to feel so alive! So dangerous! In fact, would you believe that I used to be Uranium-238? But then 1 day, I accidentally ejected an alpha particle...now look at me, a spent old Lead-206. It seems ever since, all I've done is decay, decay, decay, decay....."

I can think of a funnier joke...

YOUR FACE

ufufufufufufu

Lazernugget wrote:

At the old folks home....

"I used to feel so alive! So dangerous! In fact, would you believe that I used to be Uranium-238? But then 1 day, I accidentally ejected an alpha particle...now look at me, a spent old Lead-206. It seems ever since, all I've done is decay, decay, decay, decay....."

Amazing anecdote Amigo!

However if you didn't use control rods to control the rate of the decay (speed of the particles), there wouldn't be anyone in the surroundings left to witness your decay :P

Here are some of my favorite computer viruses:

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
Nike virus: Just Does It!
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

:P

Lame jokes may result in a ban.

*Skipping all jokes except Gelo's*

Gelo, genious Joke.

There was another chemistry joke that I heard in Ratchet and Clank, but I forgot what it was... I guess I gotta go play more of Sigmund's puzzles :P

Yo dawg, I herd u liek chemistry jokes so here is another one:

Heisenberg was pulled over by a police officer, who asked him, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”

This Joke is so funny, I have to put it in a Spoiler tag:

Spoiler:

Nevermore wrote:

Yo dawg, I herd u liek chemistry jokes so here is another one:

Heisenberg was pulled over by a police officer, who asked him, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”

I don't like it much when people make obscure science comments in order to prove that they are more knowledgeable (notice how I say "knowledgeable" rather than "smart") than us other GACers.

But still, I don't get the joke because I am not familiar with the person you are referring to.

Oh, and Kitty, that joke was so hilarious, I forgot to laugh.

Gelatino95 wrote:

Nevermore wrote:

Yo dawg, I herd u liek chemistry jokes so here is another one:

Heisenberg was pulled over by a police officer, who asked him, “do you know how fast you were going?” Heisenberg replied, “No, but I know exactly where I am.”

I don't like it much when people make obscure science comments in order to prove that they are more knowledgeable (notice how I say "knowledgeable" rather than "smart") than us other GACers.

But still, I don't get the joke because I am not familiar with the person you are referring to.

Since you made a chemistry joke, I thought you and Lazer (at least) would be interested in science and perhaps be familiar to Heisenberg :S I did not understand why you took it as a sign of "showing-off" rather than a mere joke.

And that was not an obscure reference at all. Heisenberg is a VERY IMPORTANT quantum physicist that is often mentioned even in high school chemistry lessons

tl;dr: fine fine, im outta here

Q: Why did the Spy cross the Road?

A: He didn't, for he was never really on your side to begin with.