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Top posting users this week | |
| | Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou | |
| | Author | Message |
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ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Sun Jun 05, 2011 1:35 am | |
| Warning: This may contain spoilers to "The Grox War" role play about a character of mine. If you desperately want to read it, you may. Also, this really has nothing to do with me personally. ___________________ Frostie Yuki By Saltdfrost
Chapter 1: A Moment of Greeting Chapter 2: *Title Unkown* *More chapters soon*
Last edited by FrostieBuniou on Mon Jun 13, 2011 1:50 am; edited 5 times in total | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Sun Jun 05, 2011 1:36 am | |
| Empire Description: Buniou empire, is an empire that is hidden and near the galactic core, becoming instant enemies with the Grox. The Buniou empire's only goal is to destroy the Grox, even though they only have one colonized home planet with an overly powerful defense system that even the Grox can't beat. Government: The type of government constitutional, but a lot more freedom, it has kings and queens that only come from family of royalty. Every generation, the king and queen must have children in order for the empire to thrive. If it's not possible, there is a voting for the next king/queen. Siblings are slightly rare in the Buniou empire and twins are extremely rare. The current King is king Banno, who is hot headed and shows lack of empathy. The whole planet isn't split into countries. Geography/Climate: The empire's land is slightly warm, in the winter, the temperature ranges from 20 degrees to 60 degrees. And in the summer, 70 degrees to 100 degrees. It's highest point is mount Senotakai, with 34,000 square miles. It has many lakes and water resources. Citizens: The citizens have the same kind of behavior as humans do, worry about things that are not too important. However, gun violence never occurs. The Buniou empire respects Planet Patora's environment and treats it with care. Fear of dead environment exists in Patora and many citizens are concerned. They speak an intergalactic language, but they rarely speak in their original language from 5,000 years into the past. (5 Million human years) An average Buniou life span is from 0 - 1000 Buniou years. (One billion Human years). Elementary school lasts from age 5-12, Middle school is from age 13-16 and High school lasts from age 17-21. Culture: Bunious are herbivores and eat natural organic foods. It is polite to insist the guest eat the main dish first, instead of digging in. It is important to be polite, although respect for other Buniou can be low depending on the Buniou's relationship. Female Bunious wear skirts and shoulder sleeves along with a bow, while males wear Shirts with shorts with a top hat. On special occasions, Females wear longer skirts and jewelery. Males wear Tuxedos. History: The amount of years the Buniou Empire existed is unknown, but it is believed it existed for 5,000 years. The Empire used to practice spiritual rituals, and used to tell many folklore. The most accurate one is about the Mind Annihilator that had the most powerful energy in the galaxy, many Buniou believe this folklore because it's true. Half of the population says that story is for babies. The Mind Annihilator usually is reincarnated every 1000 years (1 million human years) into a royal family.
Last edited by FrostieBuniou on Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:07 am; edited 3 times in total | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Sun Jun 05, 2011 1:36 am | |
| Characters: Frostie: Description: Frostie is shy and timid, she has little to nothing friends and is sensitive. Her mother died the moment after Frostie was born. The only person she get's along with is Bunino, other Bunious treat her poorly. She is often called three eyes because of the third eye on her forehead, she covered it with a bandage and pretended she has an injury and refuses to take it off. Bunino encouraged her that everyone is different, inside and out. She also used to wear a common female Buniou outfit, but Bunino said it doesn't really fit her personality: I really agree with that. Born: December 20, 3021. Age: 19 Likes: Bunino, cakes, flowers, drawing, writing stories. Dislikes: Bullies, Rude people, Crowds, The Grox, Father, spiders. Bunino: Description: Bunino as a hardy personality, he is not seen with his parents and is neglected by them. He also is a bit rough sometimes but Frostie seems to even out his personality. Born: June 17, 3020 Age: 20 Likes: Frostie, jokes, Frostie's drawings, Kind people. Dislikes: Frostie's father, People who insult Frostie, Spiders, Slugs, The Grox. King Banno: Description: A hot tempered king, he dislikes Frostie because his wife died giving birth to her. He neglects her and sent her to school because he doesn't want to deal with her. His wife was very dear to him, and he loved her very much. By rules of the government, Bunino had to have a child who would some day become queen or king. Age: ??? Likes: Queen Baruna, Some random Dislikes: Frostie, The Government, Bunino. ________________________________ Common Citizens: Male Buniou Female Buniou
Last edited by FrostieBuniou on Sun Jun 05, 2011 9:08 pm; edited 4 times in total | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Sun Jun 05, 2011 1:36 am | |
|
Last edited by FrostieBuniou on Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:05 am; edited 2 times in total | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Sun Jun 05, 2011 1:42 am | |
| Chapter 1: A Moment of Greeting A buniou could be seen in the distance. Sitting in front of a tree, her head down. She wore a short sleeved shirt and a skirt with a bow on top of her head and a bandage was on her forehead that seemed to be covering something. "I'm alone, when I'm in the moment of spotlight, I'm only made fun of." She muttered to herself so quietly, no one else could hear her. "I don't understand what's wrong with me, I try to act the best I can yet everyone says I'm weird and..." She managed to speak in a louder tone but her voice drowned out. Tears ran down her cheeks and she started crying. "Everyone is different, and some people can't seem to understand that." She heard a voice and looked up, she noticed someone was watching her the entire time, A buniou she didn't know, his hair was longer and his outfit was different, he had a firm yet soft look in his eyes. He wore a blue top hat, wore a short sleeved shirt and shorts. Startled, the female buniou quickly jumped up. "Although people think you're weird, you're not, you're unique." He continued. "You may look different on the outside, but really everyone is the same on the inside. Everyone has the same needs, to be cared for, have some one who understands you." He said, with a look of understanding on his face. The female buniou was confused, but she didn't say anything to him. "Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself.. My name is Bunino." He said while smiling. The female Buniou hesitated. "My name is... Fr-OOS-tie." She said in an accidental outburst. "Hello Fr-OOS-tie!" Bunino said in a giggle. "Frostie, it's Frostie." She said. "I was joking." Bunino said. He then noticed the bandage on her forehead. "We're you injured?" He asked in concern. Frostie turned her head away and her face became red. "Please don't freak out when I take it off.." She said. "I promise I won't." Bunino said. Frostie pealed the giant bandage of her forehead, it revealed a purple, motionless eye. She slowly turned away and looked down at the ground, embracing herself for the insult of "Three eyes". She didn't hear sounds of disgust, she turned around and to her surprise, Bunino had a look of interest. "It's fine, I don't really judge people by appearance." Frostie smiled. "I'm glad you understand." She said. "People just look at me funny and call me "three eyes".." She spoke with a soft sigh. "You shouldn't let the smallest insults get to you, accept it and it won't hurt anymore." "Okay! For now on I'll ignore what people call me!" Frostie shouted. "YES!" Bunino shouted. "DO WHAT I WANT!" "YEAH!" "BECAUSE I CAN!" "YEAHS!" "I AM FROSTIE YUKI, AND NO ONE CAN PUT ME DOWN!" Frostie screamed into the sky. Bunino laughed. "What? Was it something I said?" Frostie asked. Bunino laughed so hard he fell on the ground. Frostie blushed in embarrassment. "I should be heading home now.." "Bye!" Bunino laughed. Frostie ran down from the hill and walked down the sidewalk. She stopped at a tall palace and entered the building. Hope I can see Bunino again tomorrow.. Frostie thought, while she was entering the building. Chapter 2: School, As Usual Bunino walked from his house and headed to school, his footsteps were quiet. I hope I didn't make Frostie run off yesterday... She seemed kind of urgent to go home. He continued walking until he heard his name called. "Bunino!" He looked up and saw Frostie in front of the school. "You're going to be late!" She called. Bunino smiled and ran up to Frostie. "Um, were you annoyed by me yesterday?" He asked her. "No.. Why?" She responded. "No reason.." She ran up in front of him. "Let's go!" she shouted. "Okay, don't bust a gut..." "WHAT?!?" Frostie Screamed. "It's a figure of speech. Try not to take it literally" Bunino explained in annoyance. "Oh, sorry." They walked to their class and got ready for the day. *** Class is so boring.. Two more years of this and it's done. Bunino thought while sighing aloud. He grabbed his papers and opened the door from his class room to exit. He walked out the door and walked to the windows. It was a warm sunny day and he noticed Frostie was standing outside on a field, her eyes closed while the wind was blowing.
Last edited by FrostieBuniou on Tue Jun 14, 2011 8:43 pm; edited 6 times in total | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Sun Jun 05, 2011 4:59 am | |
| | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:59 am | |
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| | | Gelatino95 Silver Spice
Posts : 3501 Upvotes: : 9 Join date : 2010-06-27 Age : 28 Location : Dinosaur Planet
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:22 am | |
| I'm really sorry if I can't keep up with this fiction, as I'm in the process of writing my own. But I'll definitely try to read as much as I can. | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:24 am | |
| It's fine, your fiction is really good. | |
| | | Gelatino95 Silver Spice
Posts : 3501 Upvotes: : 9 Join date : 2010-06-27 Age : 28 Location : Dinosaur Planet
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:40 pm | |
| I just read the first chapter and the second chapter, still under construction. I really like the characters so far, but I personally think your chapters are too short. You need to build even more on to the personalities of your characters, especially when they're being introduced. Don't worry about boring people with long chapters, though. Anybody who actually cares about your story will take the time to read through the whole thing.
I hope to see some more action in the upcoming story. Unless, of course, this isn't an action-y kind of story. | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:25 am | |
| I was going to put more in chapter one, but Sky was nagging me on the phone trying to get me to watch some videos. As for the genre, it's like life in the eyes of the buniou, Frostie, or in some cases, Bunino. But at the end, it branches of to something in the Grox War Roleplay. I'm going to edit chapter one so it can be longer. But I read this one book and some of the chapters were half a page! | |
| | | Gelatino95 Silver Spice
Posts : 3501 Upvotes: : 9 Join date : 2010-06-27 Age : 28 Location : Dinosaur Planet
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:31 am | |
| You don't have to edit the chapter just to make it longer. And some books just happen to have shorter chapters. I actually prefer books with shorter chapters, but in most cases, fanfic writers hardly ever have the motivation to write the equivalent of a long chapter in a book. So in short, write it however you want.
And by the way, next time Sky does that to you... hang up on her. | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:45 am | |
| I actually threatened her that I was going to hang up:
"Watch the Videos" She said that thirty times.
"I'M GOING TO HANG UP IF YOU KEEP SAYING THAT BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I'M WRITING!"
20 minutes later.
"You done?"
"Now I am."
"NOW WATCH THE VIDEOS!"
I started chapter 2 then she sent me 7 more videos =w=
Chapter one is more of an introductory chapter were you don't learn the characters that well until the middle of the story. That's what I'm planning on doing. | |
| | | Gelatino95 Silver Spice
Posts : 3501 Upvotes: : 9 Join date : 2010-06-27 Age : 28 Location : Dinosaur Planet
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:52 am | |
| Have you noticed that nobody posted on either of our fanfics, except us? (actually, I got one on my thread, but that doesn't count because it wasn't about the story) | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 08, 2011 1:35 am | |
| Yeah, maybe some people don't know about Fan Fics. | |
| | | PrincessNintendo Bronze Spice
Posts : 1150 Upvotes: : 19 Join date : 2011-03-23 Age : 31 Location : Ireland
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:49 pm | |
| I've read this story VERY slowly and it's intresting. I'm trying to write out a story (actually make that a novel) but I can never come up with an Intresting begining to start it off. I already have the characters in my mind and have the title name for my book. Anyways I hope your story will be very good Frost. ^^ I do have one question though, if the main character has three eyes, wouldn't that make her a triclops (a creature that has three eyes instead of one)? | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:49 am | |
| Not really, she can't see through the third eye, and now I remember that I forgot to add that into chapter 1. I'll reveal what it means in a later part of the story. | |
| | | PrincessNintendo Bronze Spice
Posts : 1150 Upvotes: : 19 Join date : 2011-03-23 Age : 31 Location : Ireland
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:21 pm | |
| Coolbeans. I can't wait to read that part when it comes out. ^^ | |
| | | Gelatino95 Silver Spice
Posts : 3501 Upvotes: : 9 Join date : 2010-06-27 Age : 28 Location : Dinosaur Planet
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 15, 2011 3:07 am | |
| I sure hope you keep on working on this fan fic. It's not bad so far, but I want to see more so I have more to judge it on. I really want to see what happens in the story. | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:05 am | |
| I'm still in the process of story building, I'll keep adding on more stuff. | |
| | | Gelatino95 Silver Spice
Posts : 3501 Upvotes: : 9 Join date : 2010-06-27 Age : 28 Location : Dinosaur Planet
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 15, 2011 6:46 pm | |
| Also, why do you need so many posts just to make this thread? You could have put the cover, background information, characters, and title all in one post.
Also, why does everything need to be about the Grox? | |
| | | Drew Admin
Posts : 1494 Upvotes: : 20 Join date : 2010-12-11 Age : 28 Location : Probably inside you
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 15, 2011 7:55 pm | |
| - Gelatino95 wrote:
- Also, why do you need so many posts just to make this thread? You could have put the cover, background information, characters, and title all in one post.
Also, why does everything need to be about the Grox? Grox have fur- I am not going to get into this as frost does not enjoy it. | |
| | | ReFrostE Silver Spice
Posts : 3831 Upvotes: : 14 Join date : 2010-08-27 Age : 1014 Location : Fuck if I know
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:39 pm | |
| Not funny.
@ Gelo: This is like the back story to my character in "The Grox War", I would have included something different if it wasn't the above. | |
| | | PrincessNintendo Bronze Spice
Posts : 1150 Upvotes: : 19 Join date : 2011-03-23 Age : 31 Location : Ireland
| Subject: Re: Frostie Yuki: By Frostie Buniou Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:46 pm | |
| Come on guys lay off from Frost. I'm sure she has her own reasons for it. | |
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